hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
