this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
