So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
