is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Is it penis luge time yet?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
