But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
