Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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