We're facebook friends in real life
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
