So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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