For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
