she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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