Buhtt sex?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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