the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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