Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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