I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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