The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
