and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize