A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
