i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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