My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
