do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
