Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
