i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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