i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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