Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

How bad was it?

(1-713): View more from Texas

You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth

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(512): View more from Texas

I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.

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(425): View more from Washington

Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.

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(585): View more from New York

there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk

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(574): View more from Indiana

He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy

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(616): View more from Michigan

my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook

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