I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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