your room smells of hookers.
And success
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
