I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
