I look better un-naked...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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