i think my tv is drunk
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
