i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
