Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
