A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Randomize
