you guys were way drunker than both of me
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
