You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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