so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
