Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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