hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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