dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
