What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
