fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
