Umm I'm too high to move.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
