Kareoke will never be a sober sport
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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