Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I still have a little drunk in my system
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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