I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
