So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
