Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
