enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
