Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
