your room smells of hookers.
And success
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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