YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
