Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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