Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
