i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
