i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
