I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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