Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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