I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
