So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
