Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
