So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
