Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
