first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize