She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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