Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize