Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
