I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize
