So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
