Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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