yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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